Struggling

Thanks, Kaycee. I love you and wish you were here!

I know I said I wasn't going to write about the miscarriage again, but it just hasn't been that easy to move on. I've tried to stay strong throughout this whole process, but the truth is, I am really struggling. Physically, I'm starting to feel better, but emotionally, I'm a mess. Tyson went to work this morning for a couple of hours and Jake went to school, so I had a couple of hours to myself, which was not good. I totally realized that I'm not as strong as I thought I was; I'm trying to keep the right attitude about all of this, but it's just so hard. You know how they say there are 5 stages of grief? 1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, 5) Acceptance...I think I am going in reverse...I was way too quick to accept all of this and now I feel like I am stuck in a depression. I really don't know why I'm blogging about all of this...my friend Donna and I laughed yesterday about how it's TOTALLY not like me to get all emotional and talk about it, but I guess I need to let everyone know what's going on. Sure I may sound upbeat when you talk to me or even smile and laugh when you see me, but I am hurting so bad on the inside. I guess my point of this is to please keep praying for us. I go back to the doctor on Friday for an ultrasound to make sure the d and c worked, so please pray that it did. I can't imagine having to go through that again. Thank you.