Ride that Horsie

"Wow, Mom. This is the best thing EVER!!"
"Oh wait. Let me try to look a little cooler for the camera...I looked kind of dorky in that last picture."
"And I'm over it now...where's Mommy cell phone?"

"THIS is the best thing ever!...time to start prank-calling Daddy!"

I just couldn't resist snapping a few pictures today of Jake riding his horsie; most times he is not in to the horsie at all, but today he had the best time on it as you can tell by the pictures. I hope y'all enjoy (especially the grandparents)! :)

Update

I just got a call back from my doctor...my Hcg levels from 2/19/09 were 42!! I'm so excited! I'm still a little ways from normal, which is less than 5, but that is big progress from 338 on 2/13! I'll have another one checked this week, so I will let everyone know when I find out. Please keep praying, though, because the numbers can still rise at any point even once they get down to normal. Praise God for good news today, though! Thank you all so much for the prayers...they are definitely working!

Where's Jake?

Does anyone know where Jake is? I'll give you another hint...
Give up yet??
There he is!!

I guess Tyson and I didn't do such a great job of child-proofing our house! What do you think? Our little boy is way too smart for the "rubberband around the cabinet door"...no matter how tight we tied those suckers, he figures out a way to undo them! Don't get me wrong, we have cabinet latches on the REALLY important cabinets, but just not all of them. Have no fear, though, more child-proofing is near! And we also now have to get the door things; he LOVES trying to open the doors. He isn't quite tall enough to get them open, but he definitely knows how to unlock them! The boy is going to be Trouble...I can tell!


I can totally see his daddy doing something like this when he was younger!
What do you think Mrs. Pendy?

This is a little picture of Jake's chin vs. the pavement. Our first boo-boo!

(Sorry that the picture won't enlarge...but I swear there's a scratch on his chin! Also, please excuse Jake's wardrobe...Daddy was in charge today!)

Ring My Bell

"SHOOOES"

Tyson worked a half day today, so we enjoyed an afternoon together as a family playing outside. We started out with a LONG walk to the park which involved going down and up a VERY big hill. Poor Jake got a little "stroller ADD" and pitched a fit to get out about half-way up the hill. We caved and let him walk a bit which turned into him pushing the stroller which got us NO WHERE, so he ended up getting strapped back into the stroller despite the high-pitch screaming. We were definitely a site to see! We made a quick little stop at the Sweet Shop to win back over our son's love, and then we FINALLY made it to the park. Unfortunately, we couldn't stay at the park too long because I ended up suffering a concussion (I think) on the playground equipment. No joke...I was trying to get the perfect picture of Jake, so I took off into a dead sprint and ran slap dab into this metal bell hanging above my head. I hit the thing so dern hard that it threw me back a couple of feet, landed on my back, and knocked me out for a couple of seconds! Tyson didn't see it happen, but he heard the loud "DDDOOOOINNNNGGGG" from the bell and came running. Here I am layed-out on the mulch, camera in my left hand, and grabbing my head with the right, and he had the nerve to start laughing!!!! Thank goodness we were the only people at the park at the time or I would have been so embarrassed. Tyson and I laughed the whole way home! Did I mention I have a terrible headache now and I think I might have whip-lash? Have a good weekend!

Jake the Heart-Breaker

Here comes my lil' heart breaker!
The ladies can't resist these moves!....

...or these muscles!

A true playa' always has his cell phone with him...

even when he rides the horsie!

"Ladies!!! My heart only belongs to one woman...my mama!"

Jake's thinking about taking Ryan's cracker...

....contemplating...

SNATCHED straight out of his hands!

Poor little heart-broken Ryan!

The boys being sweet together as they are held by an unidentified greasy lady!

Don't you just love Jake's "Heart Breaker" shirt that his Aunt Amy gave him? The only heart that he breaks these days, though, is Ryan's when Jake steals his crackers! Seriously, Jake is such little thief. Ryan came over today and Jake just kept snatching crackers over and over again right out of Ryan's hands!! You'd think he'd never been fed the way he was acting! Sorry Ashley and Ryan!

Jake is definitely not a heart-breaker with the females, though! We went to the park today and met this sweet little girl who is a month older than Jake; well, Jake and the little girl were playing together so sweetly with a play car when I looked over and he opened the door for her! He literally walked over, opened the door, held it so she could get in, and then closed it once she was in! It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen! I doubt he knew what he was doing, but I was so proud to see my 13 month old be so chivalrous!

Here it is...

The calm before the storm...

Last Friday's d&c followup turned out to be a nightmare. I expected my doctor to be like "sorry for your loss...everything looks good...you can start trying again in 3 months." Not so much. He started using all of this big medical jargon that even I as a nurse had a hard time following, but I could pick up on enough to semi-understand what he was talking about. He knows I'm a nurse, but I think he thought if he used big medical words that I wouldn't understand what he was saying, therefore, I couldn't google my diagnosis. Like I said, though, I caught on. I told him I thought I knew what he was talking about, and this was his response, "Oh great (sarcastically). I guess you know it can give you cancer." WHAT??? He then made the mistake of showing me the pathology report, in which he circled the words he only wanted me to see, but I knew exactly where to look on the report. I definitely saw WAY more than I needed to know, but then again, I didn't see enough. I left there HIGHLY confused, frustrated, mad, and every other emotion you could imagine.

Let me back up for those of you who might be confused. I did not have a "normal miscarriage." I've been diagnosed with a rare pregnancy complication, which I am choosing not to give the specific name of on here because 1) it makes me cringe everytime I even think about it, 2) I don't want people googling my diagnosis, and 3) I still need a little bit of privacy on this even though I'm blasting all of this on here. This rare pregnancy complication obviously causes miscarriage, but it can also lead to cancer, like my doctor said. There are 2 different types of this complication, and all weekend long, I had no idea which type I had (kind of missed that important detail on the pathology report). 1 type has a higher chance of malignancy (20%) then the other (5%), and of course, I was convinced I had the more risky type based on my ultrasound.

I know what you're probably thinking...how do you get cancer from pregnancy? It's crazy! Luckily, this type of cancer is highly curable (almost 100%), rarely metastasizes, is treated with one of the "more gentle" types of chemo, and shouldn't stop a woman from being able to go on and have more children. I guess if you have to have cancer, this would be the best one to have, right? Obviously, I'm trying to be positive about this all; I just can't undertand, though, why God would EVER do this to someone....bless you with a pregnancy, then take it away, and then guess what....YOU HAVE CANCER! What a mean joke to play on someone even if the outcomes are favorable.

So where does this leave me? I found out today that I have the type that only cause cancer 5% of the time(PRAISE GOD). I say "only causes cancer" very loosely because even though 5% is a lot better than 20%, it's still 5% closer to cancer than I'd ever like to be. Not to mention, I have defied A LOT of odds between having the miscarriage (1 in 4 pregnancies) and between receiving this diagnosis, which occurs in 1 in 1000 pregnancies, so 5% scares me more than it would have 2 weeks ago.

Here's what's gonna happen from here...I will have my hcg (the pregnancy hormone) levels checked once a week for the next few months. Hopefully, they will rapidly drop (because they are abnormally high) and get back to normal in the next few months (meaning my body has done it's job and I'm "cured" of this complication). If they plateau and don't return to normal, I will be treated with chemotherapy. If they rise, I am diagnosed with cancer and will start chemotherapy. Obviously, this is going to be a long process. Even when my levels return to normal (which I pray to God that they do...and soon!), I will still have to get frequent bloodwork and monitored closely for several more months up to a year. And the most disappointing news in all of this is....I can't get pregnant for at least a year after this.

As you can imagine, this has been a huge shocker for us. The fear of cancer now occupies every minute of my day so much so that I can't even grieve my loss. I'm scared but I am hopeful. Please continue to pray for us. I will keep you all updated on my progress. Thanks.

Hcg levels:

2/13/09=338

This Kid Makes Me Laugh

This yeast roll is DEEEELICOUS, Mom!

Actually, it might be a little TOO YEASTY!

"BLLLAAAAHHHH"

"You talking to me?"

My brown-eyed boy!

Jake's Valentine's stash from Mommy and Daddy

It has been a while since I've done a "just Jake" post, so this all about my favorite little boy and none of that "other stuff." Don't worry, though, I'm going to explain my post from Friday in another post possibly later today once I hear back from the doctor. Ok, enough of that...on to Jake. Jake has started to feel better from his ear infection; I got lots of very needed cuddle time with him while he was sick, though. I don't know who needed it more, me or him. Eitherway, he's back to being his crazy-self now and just making me laugh constantly. Thank goodness for my precious little boy...I don't know what I'd do without him! Happy belated Valentine's Day!

A Lousy Day but a Great Visit

Well, we got a not-so-good report from the doctor today regarding the miscarriage. We don't know all the details and are not ready to discuss them just yet, but please just continue to keep us in your prayers. This is going to be a longer healing process than I thought, both physically and mentally.

When I got home from the doctor, I had to take Jake to the pediatrician because he's been sick the last couple of days. Turns out Jake has his first ear infection. Luckily, the doctor said it looks like Jake was in the beginning stages of the ear infection, so we caught it early. Jake has still been acting pretty pitiful, though, and making my heart hurt worse. I hate seeing my baby so sick.

On a lighter note, we got to enjoy a quick visit from my sister. Jake hasn't seen Amy since her wedding in November, but he took to her quickly. He really loves his Aunt Amy; I sure do wish we could see her more! Thanks for coming, Amy! Please come back soon! We miss you!

The Ladies' Man

I totally stole this picture from Ginger's slide show of Brantley's birthday party from a couple of weeks ago...you know, the one where I forgot my camera? I was kicking myself at the time for not having a shot of this...Jake's almost first kiss. This sweet little girl, Kate, was trying her hardest to get a little smooch, but Jake was being so shy (like his daddy)! ;) Looking back at this picture, though, I was literally holding him back for some reason or else I'm sure he would have laid it on her! It was too cute! Sadly, Jake was turned down a couple of days later by Callie. Poor Jake, he just doesn't have any game! I guess he's gonna just have to save all his sugar for his mama!

Struggling

Thanks, Kaycee. I love you and wish you were here!

I know I said I wasn't going to write about the miscarriage again, but it just hasn't been that easy to move on. I've tried to stay strong throughout this whole process, but the truth is, I am really struggling. Physically, I'm starting to feel better, but emotionally, I'm a mess. Tyson went to work this morning for a couple of hours and Jake went to school, so I had a couple of hours to myself, which was not good. I totally realized that I'm not as strong as I thought I was; I'm trying to keep the right attitude about all of this, but it's just so hard. You know how they say there are 5 stages of grief? 1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, 5) Acceptance...I think I am going in reverse...I was way too quick to accept all of this and now I feel like I am stuck in a depression. I really don't know why I'm blogging about all of this...my friend Donna and I laughed yesterday about how it's TOTALLY not like me to get all emotional and talk about it, but I guess I need to let everyone know what's going on. Sure I may sound upbeat when you talk to me or even smile and laugh when you see me, but I am hurting so bad on the inside. I guess my point of this is to please keep praying for us. I go back to the doctor on Friday for an ultrasound to make sure the d and c worked, so please pray that it did. I can't imagine having to go through that again. Thank you.

Brantley's Birthday Party

Brantley, The Birthday Boy
He LOVES cheesin' for the camera!

Jake tickling Brantley's toes!

"So you just lift right here, Brantley, and then your mama will get REAL mad!"

Brantley is very unimpressed by Jake and Ryan's antics!

Happy Birthday to you!

Get it, Brantley!

"What are you looking at?"

Are they all actually sitting still at the same time???

Awful pic of me, but this is the best one of the group. Yes, Ashley, I took one for the team and chose the better picture of y'all. I must be a really good friend, huh?

Our neighbor, Brantley, celebrated his 1st birthday this past Wednesday, February 4. We went to Brantley's birthday party the weekend before that (though I forgot my camera), but we weren't able to celebrate Brantley's birthday on his actual birthday, so we neighbors got together tonight and celebrated it again! Brantley was so cute...he literally shoved the whole cupcake in his mouth! He ate the whole thing...even the wrapper!

We are so excited to welcome Brantley to the "1 year old club." Happy Birthday, Blue Eyes! We love you!

Are You Happy Now, Daddy?

These pictures were taken yesterday with the other "Sunday pictures", but Tyson was highly upset that these pictures didn't make "the cut" for the blog. So here you go, Tyson...this post is all for you! Now quit messing with "my computer!" Ha ha ha. Love you!