Same Story, Different Sunday

Sweet Shop. Park. Slide. Home. Do it all again next Sunday.

Moving On...After this Post

This will hopefully be my last post about the miscarriage, I promise. Even though this is a very difficult matter for me to discuss, it does help me to talk about it. Plus, I know people are concerned about us and are checking up on us through the blog, so please bare with me!

I've had a number of good friends to go through miscarriages, especially here lately, but I've never really asked any of them what it was like. My nursing knowledge on miscarriages is very limited because...well, it's just not something a pediatric patient goes through. So for all of you curious about it all, I'll give you a little overview about my story with it. I'm not going to get graphic, though...I promise (meaning you can keep reading Dad!)

To start, when I say I was shocked by this, I really had NO CLUE something was wrong. It was always in the back of my mind, but I just thought it was kind of normal to worry...you know? I was reassured, though, by my very strong pregnancy symptoms and the fact that I had such an early positive pregnancy test (on cycle day 18...which is super early!). I was SO TIRED and so nauseous; looking back though, the nausea had ceased within a day or 2 of me seeing the doctor, but I was way too busy at the time to notice. Either way, I had no signs of miscarriage beforehand.

When Tyson and I were sitting in Dr. McKee's office discussing "the plan" I had several thoughts running through my head. First, I was supposed to work all weekend and I didn't want to miscarry at work. In fact, I didn't want to have to go through the process of miscarrying AT ALL. From what my friends have told me, it is very painful emotionally and physically to just let "nature take its course" and miscarry naturally. Dr. McKee was really pushing for me to have a d & c Friday, the next day; he said that even if I did miscarry naturally, there would be a good chance that I would have to have a d & c anyways. Ok I thought...let's do it. Crazy me asked "can we do it next week after I'm done with work?" What was I thinking? Tyson has Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tues off....why would I wait? And why would I want to chance miscarrying on my own if I knew I didn't want that to happen. Friday it was.

I couldn't eat or drink past midnight, which is NEVER easy for me, but I made it. We got to the hospital around 11, completed paperwork, and started the prep stuff. It took them 2 times to get my IV, but they rewarded me with some Valium. I of course was a teary mess the whole time, so they kept the drugs a comin'. No complaints here. Tyson and I hung out in the room and watched "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" until it was time to go. My last memory of all that was receiving IV Fentanyl, Versed, and Zofran and then I went to my "happy place." Tyson said he told me that he loved me and that he would be here when I got back, and my only response was "OK." I was OUT OF IT! I woke up in recovery and I felt like I was in a soap opera...you know where everyone is staring at the person and then their eyes miraculously open? Yeah, that was me...I had all these people staring at me when I finally came to. It was really weird. Immediately the nurse asked me if I was hurting and I said no, and then she said, "well, I'm gonna give you some morphine anyway." "Ok....?" I didn't stay in recovery too long and was sent back to my room where Tyson was waiting on me. Tyson said the procedure only took like 15 minutes and Dr. McKee had already given him an update that everything went fine. Dr. McKee also said all the nurses were saying how sweet I was :)....Tyson said, "wait until they see her when she's awake! :) We ended up getting discharged soon after...I did get some more drugs for the road though! I guess the nurses were just trying to make sure I was as comfortable and as pain-free as possible; they were all so kind and sympathetic about what was going on.

Our nurse was supposed to discharge us straight out to the car, but our good friends Corey and Tia Barlow had just had baby Kai, so we talked her into letting us borrow the wheelchair so we could go see our friends. Yes, after having a d & c, I was wheeled over to labor and delivery to see a newborn. Crazy, I know, but I had to see her! I was too drugged to hold her, but she looked perfect! Congratulations, Tia and Corey! She is going to be adorable in a UAB cheerleading uniform next year! Anyways, I am so glad we went to see them; I knew I would be ok with others' babies, but now I know for sure that I am!

After that, we went home and I have just rested the whole time. I can't lift Jake for a couple of days, so mom and Tyson are taking care of him. I'm still pretty sore, but it isn't that bad. Oh, I had an awful allergic reaction to my antibiotic last night...my eyes and lips swelled, broke out in hives all over, my chest got tight, and my hands and feet itched like crazy! It has been the worst part of all of this!! I'm better now, though, after 50 mg of Benadryl and 20 mg of Zyrtec!

Emotionally, I'm doing better than I could have expected. During this whole process, my faith in God has never waivered and I never questioned Him once. I know this is nobody's "fault", especially not mine (which I think is natural for most women to blame themselves), but this is all part of God's plan for us. Looking back on this, I know one day I will say "I wouldn't have had [this baby] if I wouldn't have had the miscarriage, and I can't imagine my life without him/her." That's what everyone always says, and I know there is truth to it.

Sorry for rambling...I'm writing this as I'm on Lortab, so sorry if I don't make any sense. Like I said, this is my last post on the miscarriage because today is day 1 after losing the baby and we are moving on. I will never forget the baby that I carried for 5 weeks and I will never forget the heartache that we've endured the last couple of days. I have to be strong for my husband and child, though, and the best way I know how is to start with a fresh, clean slate. Again, thank you all for everything. I just wanted to leave you with some pictures of things that have really brightened my day these last two days.

This is a picture of Jake's "handprints" that he made for us at school Thursday, but he wouldn't cooperate that well. It is still so sweet and has made my day!

This is Jake's footprint that he made for us at school on Tuesday.

He actually cooperated for this one!


This is the beautiful arrangement that my hospital sent us; it smells divine!

And these are from my Mom and Dad...aren't they gorgeous?

Update

I'm still very heavily medicated, but I just wanted to let everyone know that we are home and I am doing well after the d & c. My mom is here and is helping with Jake, and Tyson will be home for the next couple of days as well, so we are in great care. Thank you all for your prayers, emails, comments, messages, texts, etc; the outpouring of love and support that we have received has been amazing. We still ask for your prayers, though, as this is proving to be one of the most difficult challenges either of us (and our families) have ever faced. God is good, though, and we know He will get us through this.

To my sweet girls (and boys :) at work, thank you, thank you, thank you for the beautiful flowers! It was such a nice surprise when I got home from the hospital; words cannot express how much this means to me. Thank you!

I'll try to write more later...I just want to be in my right mind when I do it! :) Thank you all again! We love you and appreciate everything!

Please Pray for Us

I know this isn't "blog appropriate", but several of you knew of this pregnancy and need to know what has happened. Yes, I am pregnant...or was pregnant. I would have been 7 weeks and 1 day today, but sadly, we lost the baby. I'm really shocked right now. I had no idea this was coming. Tyson and I were so excited (and so confident) that we have already told quite a few people. I never thought this would happen to us. I know how often miscarriages occur, but I just didn't think I would ever be one of "those people." I am obviously not immune. Here's what happened so that I don't have to tell the story over and over again.

I dropped Jake off at school and headed to the doctor while Tyson, who had today off, waited in line at another church to register Jake for Mother's Day Out for next year. Luckily, our good friend Mike Madden relieved Tyson in line at registration so that Tyson could be with me at the doctor's appointment. I was walking back for my ultrasound when Tyson just appeared around the corner....thank God! I lay down for the ultrasound and chit-chat with the nice ultrasound tech while she got everything ready. Next thing you know, there's the baby. I was very surprised because it had arms, legs, and a head just like a really baby...not what I was expecting from a 7 week ultrasound. Jake at that point still just looked like a big blog, not a baby. But this one looked like a baby. She measured it and it measured 7 weeks and 3 days, and I thought "ok good. I thought it would have been bigger, but that's not too bad." Jake always measured a good week or 2 ahead on all of his ultrasounds, so that is what I kind of expected on this one, too. I was still pleased with its size; at least it was still on track. Anyways, the ultrasound tech kept zooming in and repositioning and then zooming in again. The whole time, I'm searching everywhere for that dern heartbeat. Finally, she got up and turned the screen. I said, "but I didn't see a heartbeat." "I didn't either," she said. The tears started rolling down my face. I knew. She didn't have to say another word. It was the biggest shock of my life.

I was quickly taken to a room where we waited for the doctor. We didn't wait too long, but it seemed like forever of course. I cried the whole time and sweet Tyson just hugged me and did his best to comfort me. I eventually just looked up and said, "can I call my mama?" You never get too old to call your mama. So I called and my Dad picked up; he could quickly tell something wasn't right and hollered for my mama. It was absolutely devastating to have to tell them, "we lost the baby." It was the first time I had to say it, and it hurt so much. It was so surreal at this point. The doctor came in shortly after and went over everything with us. He said based on the baby's size, the baby's heart "probably stopped beating within the last day or two." I can't explain how difficult it was to hear those words. Again, it made it so surreal. To know that our baby had a beating heart but it doesn't any more and that it was alive one day but not the next. Between the image of the baby and those words, I am forever scarred.

I am scheduled for a d and c tomorrow, so please keep us in your prayers. After the anesthesia nightmare with having the c-section with Jake, I am scared to death of being put to sleep. And honestly, I am scared to death of this whole procedure. I can't imagine what it's gonna be like to walk in to the hospital "still pregnant" and then to walk out of the doors "not pregnant" and have no baby to show for it. This is awful.

Believe it or not though, we are doing ok. We both have a very strong faith, and we know that God has a plan for us, and this pregnancy just wasn't meant to be. Laughingly, I told Tyson, God was probably like "what the heck were you thinking, Beth? A football season baby? How in the heck could you handle a newborn AND a rambunctious 20 month old DURING FOOTBALL SEASON?" Everything happens for a reason, and we know God has something else in store for us. For now, though, I'm just going to love on my precious, healthy little boy and just thank God for that. I just can't imagine people how people do it who go through miscarriages and not have a healthy child to come home to. We are so very blessed!



Like I said, we are doing ok, but we still would appreciate your prayers. This has already been a rollercoaster of a day, and I'm sure we will have many more like it. Thank you. God Bless.

Signing Day

"Callie, can I please have a little kiss?"
"Just hold still..."

The look of rejection

Oh well...Jake was WAY more interested in eating anyways

"You're totally cramping my style, Mommy."

"Which red marker would you like, Uncle Zach? This one or this one?"

Tyson introducing his linebacker signees

And this is what Jake did the whole time Daddy was speaking...

playing with his stroller and singing to himself!"

Class of 2026

Signing Day (big sigh)....it's like Christmas. You look forward to it all year long. The weekends leading up to it are filled with such anticipation and the day gets here and then BOOM...it's all over. And you never know what kind of presents you're gonna get until that day; be ready for a few surprises and be ready for some disappointment, but either way, in the end, you're gonna be happy with what you've got.

We celebrated Signing Day (aka the day we finally get our husbands back) first with a luncheon at the UAB football office with the staff, and then we had a reception/press conference this evening at Bartow Arena to announce the new signing class. Jake was an angel at both...thank goodness! At lunch, he mainly just ran around the office and played with EVERY door that he could find! He also tried to still a kiss from our equipment manager's daughter, but she wasn't into it. It was still so cute!

The press conference was PACKED! There weren't even enough chairs for all the people! It was such a good feeling to see such support for our guys! Tyson did really well with his speech this year; I am so proud of him! Jake, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to what was going on. He was just so content to push his stroller in the corner, so I just let him be. He did laugh out loud one time REALLY LOUDLY during one of the speeches, but everyone thought it was cute, so I didn't mind. Yay for another successful Signing Day!

By the way, this is THE BEST signing class in UAB history...I am so proud of our coaches. They have worked SO hard. Can y'all believe our recruiting class is ranked 61st (I think) in the nation and 3rd in our conference? How awesome! Go Blazers!

Super Bowl Sunday

The best part of today is not just that it is Super Bowl Sunday (Steelers vs. Cardinals), today marks the last day of recruiting weekends!!! I can't tell y'all how excited Jake and I are to see Signing Day quickly approaching and to see the end of all this recruiting craziness! This year has seemed pretty intense recruiting-wise; maybe it's because I was so post-partum last year to realize it or maybe because the year before that we were newlyweds having to sleep on a twin bed in a UAB apartment as we prepared to move. Who knows, but this year has been stressful! I almost think I prefer football season to recruiting! Anyways, enough on that...we are so glad to have Daddy home! Bring on mat drills and spring practice!

We enjoyed today's beautiful weather by taking a walk to our neighborhood's park; of course, though, we had to make a detour to the new Sweet Shop that opened up around the corner. I'm in heaven! I have a feeling we will be frequent customers! Jake on the other hand, wasn't too sure about the icecream. It was his first encounter with icecream, and I don't know if it was too cold for him or what, but he made the worse face as he ate it! He'll come around, I'm sure. Afterall, he is my son! Happy Super Bowl Sunday and Happy almost end of Recruiting!

The Week with My Parents

Silly boy
We love you, Granddad and Pa Pa!

"The sign says STOP...you didn't stop, Pa Pa!"

My mom trying to teach Jake to give the dogs a treat,

but he would rather give it to her!

How funny is that look on his face?

Don't call us, we'll call you!

In the previous posts, I forgot to mention that another reason we came to Georgia was so that I could go to my friend Dixie's baby shower. Jake stayed with my parents on Sunday and I drove to Atlanta and got to hang out with my old work friends and celebrate the joyous occasion; unfortunately, I left my camera at home, so I don't have any pictures from the shower. It was so good to see everyone, though! I also got to stop by and visit my sis and her hubby on the way to the shower. No pictures from that either, though!

Jake and I had so much fun at my parents house; like I said, my mama spoils me. She let me sleep in every morning and just let me hang out while she took care of Jake! It was heaven! Well, it was heaven until the dogs arrived, but that's a different story for a different day. Anyways, my parents are dogsitting my sister's dogs, so Jake had so much fun chasing them around the house and pulling on their ears, tails, and anything else that he could get his hands on! We are really trying to work with him on being gentle with the dogs, but no such luck...he learned his lesson, though! Like I said, different story for a different day!

Thanks for putting up with us, Mom and Dad! We love y'all and miss y'all!

Playin' in the Truck

"Something stinks! Can someone please check my diaper!"

"Can I have a truck when I get older, Mommy?"

You better ask your grandparents! Mr. Mischievous
"LET ME OUTTA HERE!"Jake LOVED playing in the mud!

While we were in Thomaston this past week, we didn't get a chance to play outside too much because the weather was pretty dreary. We finally reached the point of being cooped up long enough, so we took our chances and went outside to play. Actually, we were outside for 0.2 seconds when I wimped out and didn't want to get Jake's new tennis shoes too muddy, so I put Jake in the back of my Dad's truck and let him "play" in there. Yeah...that didn't last too long. It turns out that my dad had a smelly old bag of trash in the back of the truck that was really intrigued Jake but grossed me out. So...I gave in and let him play in the mud. I'm really proud of myself for letting him get so dirty...it was hard though!

A Trip to Cochran

Spenser and Jake plotting how to take down the big kids

"I know you're my cousin and all, but you're all up in my space, Spenser!"

I can only imagine what Ryleigh Kate is talking about here...

poor girl, she is the only girl out of 6 boys!!

Is it me or do the 2 on the left look really guilty?

MaMa and Carson...I've never seen him be this still before!

Pa Pa has quite a lap-full there!

Jake loves playing with Grandmama's pretty bracelets!

Long time no blog! Jake and I went home last weekend to visit my parents for a couple of days, and we ended up staying the whole week. We even got to see Tyson for a couple days because he was in the area recruiting, so we really enjoyed ourselves. Jake and I weren't feeling very well, and my mom really spoiled us, so I took it for all it was worth! We did ride over to Cochran on Saturday to "surprise" my granddaddy for his birthday; we had so much fun visiting with my grandparents and our cousins. We even got to see Grandmama in Cochran! She drove over for the day to see us, so you know Jake was extra spoiled! As usual, we already miss everybody and are looking forward to seeing everyone again soon!

Happy 82nd Birthday, Granddaddy!

Shake it like a salt shaker, Perle!
Connor, Jake, Granddaddy, Ryleigh Kate, Chase, Spenser, and Carson

MaMa and Granddaddy with the great-grandkids

We celebrated my Granddaddy's 82nd birthday today in Cochran at the Mexican restaurant with all the great-grandkids (so far...he he he) and most of the family. The highlight of the party was definitely when Granddaddy put on the sombrero and let us serenade him with the tambourines. It was hysterical! The party was cut short,though, because my granddaddy had to go keep the clock for a basketball game at the junior college...how cute is that? I may be biased, but I think I have the cutest granddaddy ever! Happy birthday, Granddaddy! Feliz cumpleanos! We love you!